Hi,
I hope you all didn't miss me too much :-) I have been busy trying to figure out how to fit it all in. I don't know how all the moms in the world do it, my hat is off to you! You see, I've worked since I was 15 years old & in 2010 I was laid off. I was working at a job that I absolutely loathed! It is, in all my years of working, the worst job I've ever had. The people, the work, the culture...everything about it sucked. I'm really lucky I was "laid off" and not fired because I wasn't too shy about the fact that I thought they were all a bunch of morons.
If you know me at all then you know I don't do anything I don't WANT to do so I wasn't about to take another job that I hated. I decided I would live under 1-10 somewhere before I did that so it took me a year to find a job that was the right fit (more on this later). In this year I learned a great deal about myself, about my marriage & about what was truly important to me.
In 2006 I was lucky enough to meet the man that would forever change my life, Troy Schmidt. I was out one night with my sister. She was dating a guy in the radio biz & she wanted to meet up with him at this club he was promoting. I did not want to go out. I had a broken heart. I'd been in several "relationships" that were very unfulfilling to me. It was my fault. I allowed it to happen. I was always the "pseudo" girlfriend. That was the way I wanted it. I didn't want anyone too close & when they began to move in I backed away. I did that until MJD. I write his full initials because I had 2 pseudos with the first name M, but M is not who I'm talking about here. MJD, the guy who I really did love & he was leaving for another country. I was very sad. My sister dragged me out & we went to a BYOB restaurant. We had a lot of wine, then went to the club her new guy was promoting. We walked up to the bar in a group...5 girls. I was the first girl in the "line" that walked in. Troy was standing at the bar with a group of guys (they were there after an awards dinner with their company). As we walked up Troy said "Anyone want a shot?" I said "I do." As I leaned back to down the shot someone behind me said something funny. I spit the entire shot all over my face. Yes, I did that. Troy crouched down & asked me if he could show me the restroom & the rest was history. I love him & I feel he saved me. He saved me from myself! I love you baby.
Okay, I really did digress. I was going to devote an entire post to him later. He deserves that. I am really here to talk about fashion. Yes, you see I am crazy, too. Who would've thunk I was going to talk about fashion with that opening? Maybe the rest of the crazies? All the K's knew I was going to talk about fashion...LOL. Anyway....
So, I was out of work for a year & I discovered that I REALLY love fashion. It was always there buried down deep or maybe not so deep. My mom always really cared about the way she looked believe it or not. I was told she would babysit (scary thought) & save all of her money for Pappagallo shoes. She loved shoes, makeup clothes so maybe I got it from her.
Before the economy was HORRIBLE we, like many people, had a very good life. We didn't bat our eyes at spending $200 on dinner. EVERY. WEEKEND. We had fancy cars, nice clothes, took lavish vacations & never worried about money. This was very different from what Troy & I had as children. We had similar backgrounds. I think we were rebelling. We were going nuts. Spending money like crazy on things that didn't matter. Then we got laid off...
We had this impression that we would always be upper middle class, that we would never want for anything. We were wrong. I was sad. Troy was sad. We felt like our lives were over. What were we going to do if we couldn't buy stuff? How were we going to be fulfilled? It was the best thing that ever happened to us. It shook us to the core. It woke us from this fantasy we were in, a false reality. A reality where there were no real connections, no real faith, no real goals. I'm embarassed that I was that person, that I invested in things that had no real meaning.
I learned to do things very differently. I was never going to turn my back on fashion. How could I stifle that? I couldn't. I started reading fashion blogs (my favs are listed in my sidebar). They gave me inspiration. Most bloggers don't shop at "box" stores. "Box" store basically means any store in the mall. They don't want to have an outfit on that someone else may have on & really I don't either. I read & obssessed for a while & then I gathered enough courage to go to my first thrift store.
Goodwill. I love. YOU! I do. I love Goodwill. I know this is really a city by city thing. Some Goodwills are not as good as others, but mine rocks! I find treasures everytime I go. Dresses are $10, Jackets are $10, Skirts are $7, Jeans are $8. I've gotten so many wonderful pieces. Some vintage, some not. I will never ever shop at a "regular" store again. Okay, maybe that is a small lie because I was at the J. Crew Factory Store last week, but still it will not be often that I shop at a store where I pay $88 for a blouse. I used to do that. I could've given that money to God, to someone that needed it. I didn't. I was selfish. I'm still learning. I'm not perfect. I'm a work in progress, but I want you to take this away from my post. Maybe my post wasn't about fashion at all. My post was about the importance of people & relationships. Stuff will never satisfy you. Ever. You can try, try, try. Go for it. It is exhausting. Let me save you some time. Invest in people, find a good church, listen to your spouse, make love in the rain (I haven't done this, baby are you reading?), volunteer your time, shop at a thrift store, tell the people you love that you love them, don't worry about stuff, don't worry about how much you weigh, don't worry about how many zero's are at the end of your 1's in your bank account. Because if that is what you focus on you will feel empty & you will feel this emptiness forever.
I am so very grateful to The Lord for knowing what I needed when I needed it. I needed to be stripped of all of my wordly possessions for a certain amount of time. I have such gratitude for what I have today & for what I am able to give. I don't ever want to return to a place where things matter more than people. They will never give me the love & encouragement that I have received in the last year. To all of my friends, thank you so much. A special thanks to D&J. I love you guys! To my counselor, R, thank you! I am so humbled by my experiences in my life & I hope those of you reading are, too.
Goodnight & next time I will write about fashion....:-)
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